Trail of thoughts

Sometimes I hear or see things on the trail that stop me in my tracks. For that very second I'm completely focused on what is before, behind, beside, and above me. I stop to evaluate the situation. My mind is processing immediately what I heard or saw. If I sense danger it will affect me one way, if it is pleasureable to my eyes or hears I will feel another emotion. There is always a million thoughts running through your mind, trying to bring an answer to what your senses are trying to tell you. There is always an action to follow every thought, maybe not then and there, but eventually. Because if there is a thought of danger, you will take action to avoid it. If there is a thought of pleasure, most likely you will pursue the thought or seek it in action.

I find in Ecclesiastes I'm told to there is a time for certain thoughts that provoke certain emotions. A time to mourn, a time to laugh, a time to kill, a time to dance.... Will these thoughts and emotions challenge us? What are they challenging us to do?

I was told tonight my friend has 3 months to live. She had a brain tumor, which they removed, but it was cancerous and they couldn't remove all of it. At best, she has maybe a year with Chemotherapy. She is still very young and has a family. Her son is in his junior year of college. He's coming home to be with his mama. We wore a hat to church Sunday to support her through this time, as she had to have her hair shaved off for surgery.

This would be the Mt Everest of all trails for me! A million trails of thoughts loomed over me as I tried to process all she must be feeling. How must if feel to be completely fine one day and then the next day to find you have a brain tumor and you will die in three months?

My first thought was what kind of person she is. She is my daughter's Sunday School teacher. She praises the Lord in church for answering her prayers. She is close to her son and it's obvious they have a sweet relationship. She has been hospitable and kind to me as a new friend at church.

My second thought....why not me Lord? Surely she is a far more better Christian than I.

What would I think or do if I found out tomorrow I had a brain tumor and I had only three months to live? What would I do in those three months? How much would I change about my life? What would I do differently? Would or could I be ready to die in three months?

So here is what I would do....maybe....it probably would be a completely different scenario, so rather than say what I would do if found out I was dying, I would rather say what I shall do now to prepare for that day. Because I am but flesh and soon I too will die....one day.

So here are my thoughts about now and what I shall do to prepare for my day.

My relationship with the Lord shall be more important than anything else, so should that hour come upon me, I will have peace and rest in Him. I intend to make my relationship with Christ more meaningful than yesterday.

Today I shall love more than I have. I will show more love and appreciation for my family and those around me.

Today I shall forgive and show compassion more than yesterday.

Today I will start spending more precious time with my children. I want to talk to them more, read one more bedtime story, and push the swing five more minutes at the park. I will not just hug them when they go to bed, but kiss them and hug them every morning, because tomorrow is not just another day, but an extra day to show them again how much I love them.

Today I will make sure my husband knows just how much I love him and appreciate him as a husband and a father to my children. I will tell him why I love him and what his friendship means to me. I will be a better friend and a listener.

Today I can't complain about one single solitary thing in my life. Today has been a gift from God. A chance to do all things I would do if it were my last day on earth. Did I love, forgive, cherish and accomplish everything I would do in my last day?

Sure, I have my list of things to do before I die! There are many summits awaiting my arrival! Many I shall never reach. As I lay my head on my pillow tonight, I can only see one summit ahead that matters most to me. This trail leads closer to Jesus Christ and what kind of impression and legacy have I left to my family and friends.

In my dying hour, I don't want to glory in my own earthly achievements, but what I have done for eternity....that I have loved and cherished all that God wanted me to.